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June 25, 2007

Conversational Traits To Avoid

Are you an interrupter. An interrupter knows where you are going with the story and will stop you in your tracks. They lack patience when they know where you are going, especially if it is the wrong road, and will cut you off to make their point. If you constantly interrupt, it makes people feel like you're not actually listening and they feel like you are only interested in talking and not listening to them. Let a person finish their sentences even if you have to count to 30. People hate interrupters. They’ll fell like Everything they said didn’t matter. People want to be heard.

Are you the know-it-all? Know-it-all doesn’t realize it but they cut someone down without realizing it. It's how they say things that rubs people the wrong way. Whatever it was they knew it. Know-it-alls are really trying to relate but no one wants to be around a person who makes them feel bad about themselves. They don’t mean to come across that way, but know it all’s don’t realize it. If you have that tendency, you want to soften up your responses a little. If you want to give advice monitor and work to eliminate a know-it-all manner.

Don't monopolize of a conversation by going on and on. People will want to tune you out and escape. You need to learn to balance your time listening. Monopolizers do not realize they are doing it and they have to tell every detail of their story. They'll pick up on something you say and it will remind them of something and go on about it in a speech and tune you out. You’re gasping for air and never get a chance to talk and can keep you 15 minutes before you can butt in. So don't talk for more than 3 minutes

Are you an advisor type? Do you have advice for an endless array of solutions for everyone’s problems without showing signs of empathy? Most of the time people just want someone to listened to them. They are not looking for advice. Let others just be heard. Practice listening and empathizing if you’re the advisor type.

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